my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
