My friends, they love my intelligence
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
