im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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