dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
