Kiss
Puke
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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