mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
