He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
