you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
