Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
