We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
