speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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