By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize