The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
