Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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