am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She needs sedatives and a leash
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Pants are for mortals
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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