I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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