I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize