just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
