Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Someone signed my nipple.
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