i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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