He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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