Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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