Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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