i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
its not stalking. its research.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
