i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
