I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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