I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
