this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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