he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
