We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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