I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
