Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
