Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
