The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
