Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'd cum for enchiladas.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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