His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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