You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize