I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
