lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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