I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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