just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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