dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize