Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
