If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
