Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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