I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
