I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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