I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
