I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
