Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
