This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize