Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do you have feelings for this penis?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
