your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
