You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
