Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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