I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
