it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
