Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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