I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Pants are for mortals
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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