So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
