She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
