i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
