dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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