guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
