So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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