if i died would you start the facebook group?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
