It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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