he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
