get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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