So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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