i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
