singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
50% drunk capacity currently
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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