New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
