this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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